London. After successfully proving that religion was not at all any factor in acts of terror perpetrated in the name of a religion, world leaders are now planning the next step where they would aim to prove that some acts of terror and some terrorists have got nothing to do with terrorism.
“After the emergence of ISIS in Iraq, terrorists are getting a bad name,” David Cameron, UK Prime Minister said, “I mean, look at Hamas. Because of terrorists like ISIS, differently oriented terrorists like those of Hamas are getting bad name. And that’s why it’s high time we told the world that these terrorists have got nothing to do with terrorism,” he explained.
Immediately following him, Barrack Hussein Obama, said, “Over years, terrorists have increasingly become part of mainstream. We have had talks with Taliban and we continue to talk with Pakistan. We have to make sure that terrorists are not confused with terrorism, which is a bad thing.”
Many of the world leaders followed the suit, declaring that “Terrorists have nothing to do with Terrorism”. They vowed to fight terrorism, the real terrorism, but cautioned to be extra careful not to paint all terrorists as engaged in terrorism.
“There is this absurd terroristphobia being whipped up by some people,” a liberal commentator welcoming the world resolution said, “Why should you be scared of all terrorists? They blow bombs and you are scared of it. But they aren’t scared of it! If they themselves cannot feel terror, then their work is not a work of terror. What is terrorism? It’s the feeling of being terrorized. Why can’t we fight that feeling? Why do we have to fight terrorists? Terrorism is bad, but have we really thought about what causes it? Is it really the terrorist? You got my point?”
The commentator, unlike the world leaders who explicitly mentioned ISIS as being the one to bring bad name to terrorists, refused to unequivocally condemn the ISIS, since they have rightfully formed a caliphate.
“We can’t ignore the realities. We have to be inclusive. Maybe someday we should debate that terrorism has got nothing to do with inhumanism,” he said.
While human rights activists all over the world have welcomed the latest stand by world leaders, various terrorists have reportedly gone violent after hearing the apologetic speeches and definitions.
Aayaa al Vadakari, one such militant outfit leader, claimed in his video speech, “Whatever we do, these leaders say something stupid and not let us terrorise the people. We wanted people to fear us, but these foolish leaders somehow misinterpret our motives and spoil our careers. Looks like this is all western conspiracy to force us to hate what we are doing so that we leave terrorism and join IT companies.”