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China agrees to India's entry in NSG if India bans Gobhi Manchurian and Paneer Wonton

09, Jun 2016 By Pagla Ghoda

Beijing: China’s ministry of foreign affairs has clarified that China will have no issues with India’s entry into the Nuclear Suppliers Group (NSG), if in return, India agrees to ban dishes like Gobhi Manchurian, Paneer Wonton and vegetarian Momos etc. from restaurant menus across India.

Gobhi manchurian
Authentic Chinese Gobhi manchurian

Senior Chinese official, Li Xui Kuwa, spoke to our reporter at the Chinese embassy. He said, “Last year our honorable Premier Xi had dinner at a local Chinese restaurant in New Delhi and couldn’t recognize a single dish in their Chinese menu. He was served something called Gobhi Manchurian, Vegetarian Momos with Schezwan and something resembling wontons but with cheese cubes in them. Though he enjoyed those dishes but calling them Chinese was an attack on Chinese cuisine and culture.”

After sipping lukewarm cocktail of green-tea, coca-cola and goat milk, Li Xui calmed down and said, “We believe in consuming simple foods and drinks. Hence we demand that all such dishes with name Manchurian, Wonton, Sichuan and Schezwan need to be critically evaluated by Indian government. These dishes do not originate from China and should not be sold under Chinese names. While we are at it, please stop putting soya sauce in every Chinese dish. We want a blanket ban on all such dishes across India. We have already ordered Pakistan to do so and they will be complying in 15 days or we will take back all the funding they get. With India we can’t do such thing so NSG is a good leverage we have. I hope an amicable resolution is reached or the whole region will be politically unstable.”

Chinese restaurants across India are worried after this demand by the Chinese government. “We will have to close our shops sir. We have been selling Gobhi Manchurian for past 4 decades in the name of authentic Chinese food. Now if we remove that item saying it is not authentic Chinese then what happens to our reputation as an honest establishment”, asked a restaurant owner from South Delhi.

However, Indian government is unlikely to accept this Chinese demand. “Desi Chinese food is part of Indian culture now and China should not try to change our culture”, a PMO official said while eating Chinese bhel.