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China planning to create cheap copy of Pakistan near Arunachal Pradesh

12, May 2011 By Simon

Beijing, China. After Indian intelligence agencies confirmed the presence of suspected Chinese military engineers in Pakistan occupied Kashmir (PoK), Faking News has found out the details of the secret mission these engineers are on. Using their famous “reverse engineering” method to create knock-off goods, the Chinese are trying to create a region like PoK near Arunachal Pradesh, some parts of which China has been claiming as “disputed territory”.

The new territory will be called Pakistanii occupied Kashmeer, to evade trade mark laws.

“The Chinese want to work out exactly what it is about Pakistan that pisses India off so much,” Faking News in-house international relations expert Nikhil, 19, said, “The Chinese just can’t get on India’s nerves like Pakistan can, despite having 2.85m strong military personnel, functional nukes, and a crazy streak.”

Jammu and Kashmir, Arunachal Pradesh
A map of the area, with notes on it, was found with one of the Chinese engineers in PoK.

“Instead, dusty, dysfunctional Pakistan with its own particular blend of anarchy, militarism and traditionally terror friendly environment has the ability to rile India. It is this ability which the Chinese aim to capture and recreate,” Nikhil explained.

As per the detailed analysis of our expert, the Chinese in PoK are said to be interested in recreating a mini Pakistan – the perfect environment for armed insurgency, instability, and random violence – just across the border from Arunachal Pradesh.

They plan to do this through reverse engineering the PoK model, which means the “Chinese Pakistan” near Arunachal would be developed at a much cheaper rate than the price Pakistan has paid for creating PoK. However, commentators wonder if it will be as hard wearing and enduring as the original branded version.

“China doesn’t need to invest in any research and development activities like Pakistan did all these decades,” Nikhil pointed out, “it just needs to add a local twist, maybe a red star here and there.”

Although it’s not yet clear if the Chinese engineers have been able to rip the code, but sources say that the engineers have suggest some “policy level” changes to the ruling communist party in China. These changes include withdrawing state services from its border region, shutting down successful businesses in the area, and giving away an AK-47 with every 1kg of rice.

“Since China can’t ask for US aid, I think it might trade some AK-47s for cheap missiles it hands over to Pakistan,” our expert concluded.

(with inputs from Pagal Patrakar)