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Hafiz Saeed admits Ramiz Raja to be a part of guerrilla war against India

26, May 2014 By indianpsycho

Islamabad, Pakistan. In the middle of Pakistan PM Nawaz Sharif meeting Narendra Modi today, has come a shocking revelation from across the border – something that could once again derail the bilateral relations.

Talking to Faking News exclusively from Murdike, the Jamaat-Ul-Dava chief Hafiz Saeed conceded that ace Pakistani commentator Rameez Raja has been sent to India as a part of their guerrilla war. Rameez’s mission is to destabilize India from within.

The Mumbai terror attacks mastermind confessed that Pakistan was forced to take this step in desperation as all their attempts of waging real wars with India resulted in defeat.

“I thought this was the right time to own up and take responsibility of this deadly attack on the psyche of Indian cricket lovers,” Saeed told Faking News, “This will send a strong signal to Modi who will now be forced to concede defeat.”

Rameez Raja
Rameez Raja watching his victim fall unconscious

Saeed claimed victory in “Operation Rameez” as reports suggest that many Indians indeed have suffered huge mental and aural blows from Rameez’s commentary.

The LeT chief further claimed that Rameez Raja was a special weapon of destruction that was result of years of grueling preparation, patience, and hardwork.

“We first fed him with daily dose of commentary from Ravi Shastri, Arun Lal, and Lakshman Sivaramakrishnan combined,” Hafiz revealed how Rameez was trained before being unleashed on Indians.

“And in the final stages of training, he was subjected to Sidhu’s Hindi commentary,” Hafiz went on to disclose.

“After that, we took him to some remote place where we normally test our nuclear weapons. We asked him to speak a few words, which resulted into desert tempest. We also took him underwater that resulted in fishes automatically running away into fishing nets. The results were delightful!” he went on to reveal.

“Thank god our scientists were wearing ear-plugs when we test-fired Rameez,” he said.

Rameez, who is currently commentating in IPL along with Vodafone zoozoos, was shocked by these claims and said that he was being unfairly targeted for being extraordinary.

“Well, if Ishant Sharma bowls the way he does, that doesn’t mean he has fixed the match,” Rameez defended himself and denied he was waging any war by commentating the way he does.

Rameez got support from people close to Nawaz Sharif, who claimed that this admission by Saeed’s was an attempt to derail Indo-Pak relations. However, India is not taking it up lightly. Officers have started contacting victims of Rameez Raja’s commentary to understand the extent of damage.

“We are keeping an eye on Shoaib Akhtar too, as his commentary too could be a part of this guerrilla warfare,” an Indian intelligence officer said.