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Inspired by Brexit, Pakistan to vote on leaving South Asia to join Arabia

24, Jun 2016 By Pagal Patrakar

Islamabad. As United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland have voted in favor of Brexit i.e. to exit the European Union, group of Pakistani politicians have asked for Pexit – a referendum to decide whether Pakistan should continue to be part of South Asia and Indian subcontinent or exit the bloc to join the Arab countries.

Nawaz Sharif addressing joint session of Parliament over Pexit
Pakistan PM Nawaz Sharif addressing joint session of Parliament over Pexit

“Ideologically we had left India in early 20th century while politically we did that in 1947. But we are still called a part of the Indian subcontinent or South Asia by many commentators,” explained Maulana Mushroom Azhar, the chief proponent of Pexit.

Sources say that the Pexit supporters are impressed with that fact that UK could leave EU without any geographical movement, and that gives hope to Pakistan.

“Being tagged with India is haraam. We must officially leave this South Asia thing and join the pious land of Arabia. Mentally we already feel like Arabs, so it’s a must that we vote to formally announce this,” Maulana Mushroom Azhar said.

Dozens of other religious and political leaders have supported the Maulana and called for immediate referendum on this issue.

“Kashmir referendum can wait, this is more important,” Armaan Khan, a local politician in Pakistan Occupied Kashmir told Faking News.

“Once Pakistan becomes a part of Arabia, Kashmir can also become part of it. This is one step less in the Islamic revolution,” he explained, “No more Kashmir Banega Pakistan slogans, now we will have Kashmir Banega Arabia jaan.”

Experts believe that the support for Pexit is very high in Pakistan with most hardline groups being in its favor.

“Pexit is almost unanimously agreed upon, the only disagreement is whether to join the Arabian bloc or the Islamic State,” an expert claimed.

Markets reacted strongly to the news of Pexit. JSC (Jihadi Stock Exchange) gained 500 points with LeT and JuD gaining the most in the intra-day training. The trading was halted after a trader threatened suicide attack when reports latest came in.

However there are some who are in favor of Pemain i.e. Pakistan remaining a part of the Indian subcontinent and the South Asia.

“We are a fledgling terrorist organization and we just received seed funding. If Pexit happens, most of our new joinees will be on bench. We need South Asia more specifically India to see growth. We may have to lay off half of our terrorists,” said the Chief of TerrorKart, an e-terror startup.

“At least on occasions we feel good for being the best in cricket in this region,” argued a non-terrorist supporter of Pemain, who didn’t want to identify himself, “What will we feel good about as part of Arabia? We have no oil, our knowledge of Arabic is weak, and our cricketers may fix matches and lose to UAE. Pexit will be a disaster.”