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ISIS in favor of chess ban, asks supporters to play ‘offline CounterStrike’ instead

22, Jan 2016 By @jurnoleast

Syria: After Saudi Arabia’s Grand Mufti announced fatwa against chess citing it as a waste of time, ISIS came out supporting the ban and asked people to play ‘Offline CounterStrike’

ISIS chief urging supporters to play Offline Counterstrike
ISIS chief urging supporters to play Offline Counterstrike

Faking News reporter met Abu Adnani, the official spokesperson of ISIS, after being guaranteed that he won’t be killed. The spokesperson said, “Yes, we are supporting the ban but for totally different reasons. I mean it is such a boring game. There are wooden pieces like king, queen, horse, elephant and so on. But none them are actually killed. It would have been fun if we had humans as pieces and we could just shoot them instead of striking pieces off the board.”

“So we have asked all supporters and ISIS fighters to play ‘Offline Counterstrike instead, whenever they seek entertainment,” he added.

When asked to elaborate on what exactly Offline Counterstrike meant, Abu Adnani said, “It is similar to the Counterstrike that most of the western world plays on the internet. But you know as internet also is banned here we had come up with a more practical way to entertain ourselves. So we thought of taking it offline. Where we play with real guns, real fighters and real hostages. And yes, people are killed in Offline CS,” Abu said and asked our reporter if he would be interested in playing the part of hostage.

Apparently, the offline version of the multiplayer game is already a hit with ISIS fighters. Many were seen ‘killing time’ by shooting bullets, throwing bombs and screaming ‘fire in the hole’.

“It is also a good way to separate the good fighters from the bad. Last year we got some worthless fighters from India and Bangladesh. They couldn’t even hold an AK-47 properly. Even a 5 year old does a better job than those losers,” said an ISIS fighter as he got ready to play aim_headshot map on Offline Counterstrike.