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Nervous after Yasin Bhatkal’s arrest, Pakistan may auction Dawood to cash out

29, Aug 2013 By idiot420

Islamabad, Pakistan. Concerned that millions of dollars invested into making terrorists like Yasin Bhatkal and Abdul Karim Tunda could go waste, Pakistan is reportedly thinking of cashing out from another big investment – Dawood Ibrahim.

“We invested but it seems Nepal is making money by handing them over to India,” a source in Pakistan’s ISI told Faking News referring to both Tunda and Bhatkal being arrested from Indo-Nepal border.

“Nepal is making money while India will reap political benefits. What will we get? Ghanta?” the ISI official added in frustration.

Dawood Ibrahim
Dawood is trying to reach out to his friends in India to help him out of this mess, sources say.

Ever since USA has slashed its aide to Pakistan, Pakistan is running short on funds and country’s economists are in urgent search of some policy to bring down fiscal deficit. Pakistan’s move is being seen as a measure to achieve same.

Sources say that Pakistan has asked Dawood to hand over his assets to the government of Pakistan, else they will sell him on websites like eBay or OLX. They even have plans of selling off other most wanted terrorist – Hafiz Saeed.

“These terrorists could be bought by sovereign governments as well as mushrooming terrorist organizations that are cash rich; so won’t be surprised if Pakistan earns huge foreign exchange and Pakistani rupee beats Indian rupee,” claimed Hirendrya Yadav, an international trade expert.

It’s not yet known what were the exit options that Pakistan had planned while investing in these terrorists, but sources claim that the thought of exit options came only a couple of years back when US killed Osama Bin Laden.

“They feared their investments going away and hence sealed a deal with US. They could have sealed a deal with India too, but it seems Nepal is double crossing,” a source claimed.

Meanwhile Indian government has welcomed Pakistan’s decision and has hoped that USA will buy Dawood in an open auction.

“See, they got Headley, which helped us too.  It will save Biryani costs apart from spending millions of dollars in the auction,” a government representative told Faking News.