Saturday, 4th April, 2020


Putin to join hands with Rohit Shetty to pound ISIS with Tata Sumos, expects surrender in a day

03, Jan 2016 By Hemant Bijapurkar

Moscow. In an exclusive information accessed by Faking News, Vladamir Putin has reportedly decided to collaborate with Rohit Shetty to launch Tata Sumos and other weapons of mass destruction into the ISIS territory. If experts are to be believed, this move will ensure surrender by the terrorist group in less than a day.

The move came after Vladamir Putin reportedly saw Rohit Shetty classics like Singham and Singham Returns and was extremely intrigued by Shetty’s ability to launch Sumos with such force and intensity.

The scenes that could just scare the ISIS terrorists into surrender

Putin later connected to us via our hotline with Kremlin, “Actually I recently started watching Shetty’s movies after Dimitry (Medvedev) recommend them to me and immediately saw the potential of Rohit Shetty’s weapons. The way the SUVs were being launched and the colossal impact they made would be comparable, if not better than most WMD’s (weapons of mass destruction). Also the accuracy levels of the launches SUVs is immaculate; I noticed how they always land at a certain distance behind the hero after he has tapped his leg on the ground, or after he looks at the vehicles and winks.”

Confirming that Putin had watched the movies with more interest and seriousness than anyone else in India, he continued, “Rohit has successfully managed to test launch a Sumo with a 4000 mile range, which is enough to cover ISIS. I plan to further collaborate with him to develop a 10000 mile Sumo missile, which will be able to cover all major American cities. We have even decided to engage in psychological warfare by airdropping Dilwale DVDs into enemy territory; after all our Gulag prisoners died while viewing that movie.”

It is also reported via credible sources that NATO too is planning to partner some Indian entity. A reliable source has confirmed that the alliance could collaborate with Arnab Goswami for sound (shock waves) based weapons, but he doesn’t seem to listen to their ideas and suggestions.