US to attack King’s Landing to establish democracy after Tyrion tells them about oil beneath it

26, Jun 2014 By idiot420

Washington, DC. Taking note of the unrest and the ongoing civil war for the Iron Throne in Westeros, United States of America has decided to intervene and establish peaceful democracy in the region.

Although bloodshed and violence has been going on for ages in Westeros, US decided to intervene after Tyrion Lannister, who is currently at large after killing his father, informed Barack Obama about presence of huge oil reserve beneath King’s Landing and in other parts of the continent.

United States’ first target.

However, White House has flatly rejected any suggestion that US move was linked to the presence of any oil reserves. US reiterated that they were acting out of their concern for the well-being of the people of Westeros.

“Westeros is turning into a worse mess than even Iraq and Afghanistan. Lawlessness is on rise, everybody is killing somebody, and with so many autocratic lords, the whole continent is becoming a living hell. So it’s the duty of United States to interfere and ensure safety of locals, no matter how far the continent is,” US President Barack Obama said while making a formal announcement of his plan.

However, some experts think that US may not find any oil in Westeros like they couldn’t find any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. According to some full-time conspiracy theorists active on the US soil, US if being manipulated by Tyrion, who is working on his master plan to destroy Seven Kingdoms.

“As of now, Tyrion is powerless and a fugitive. Taking help of US is the only way by which he can ensure his safe return to King’s Landing. I guess he has is trying to lure US and passing them wrong information,” a close aide of Tyrion confirmed to Faking News.

According to latest reports, US has already started working on a strategy to attack Westeros. Sources say that they are eying an alliance with White Walkers, who live beyond the wall. US army is planning to use White Walkers’ knowledge of local terrain to cross the wilderness of Beyond the Wall.

They insist that this alliance is totally in line with their aim to promote and establish a democracy in the region.

“We will start from north side of the continent and will gradually move southward towards King’s Landing. Our first target will be Night’s Watch’s headquarters – The Castle Black,” William Alfred, a senior official of US government explained the road-map to peace and democracy.

“But we know that it will be tough to convince US as we have no trade relations with them and we don’t deal in dollars,” feared Cersei Lannister, daughter of deceased Tywin Lannister, “So, we are preparing for war. And to handle US drones at Castle Black, Daenerys has agreed to send her dragons to join members of Night’s Watch.”