Washington, DC. After announcing a security aid package of 2 billion USD to Pakistan to fight terrorists, US is believed to be working on a plan to make sure that there were enough terrorists in the region for optimal use of the aid money. Sources suggest that US is all set to give around 2 million terrorists to Afghanistan and Pakistan over a period of next one year.
“That comes around 1000 dollars per terrorist, which is not a bad deal I guess. India, learn some skills from us!” Governor of Punjab province in Pakistan Salman Taseer tweeted when asked for his reaction.
“That’s more than what a US company gave you for each Indian life in Bhopal Gas Tragedy you fool!” he retorted when someone pointed out that Pakistan was selling itself out to US this way.
Similar reactions were reported from many Pakistani officials, who reiterated that number of terrorists in the region was not any concern till the aid money, in genuine US Dollars, kept coming in.
Buoyed by the Pakistani reactions, US authorities have now begun to develop the fine print for “transfer of terrorists” to the region. An initial draft of the plan could be shared with the Pakistani authorities when Obama could visit the country early next year.
“It’s not all that challenging,” a Pentagon employee working with Photoshop and Wikimapia on his desk said, “We just have to keep repeating that Osama is hiding somewhere in Pakistan-Afghanistan and terrorists would throng that region to get a glimpse of their hero.”
US authorities believe that the 2-million-terrorists target is “modest” and could be met “very soon”.
“Just a few more cartoons or a little-known pastor threatening to burn their book, and we can produce that many terrorists in-house,” said another Pentagon guy, further adding, “Transferring them to the region won’t be a big issue as we enjoy good relationships and connectivity with Pakistan.”