Unites States: NASA has confirmed that briny water is present on the surface of Mars. Water being briny is the key they said to prevent it from freezing or sublimating in Mars’ bone chilling low temperature and low pressure.
However the discovery has increased temperatures in Indian political scene and subsequent pressure on news channel to not only sensationalize the discovery but to juxtapose it with charges and counter charges by Indian politicians and expert panels.
The first to react to the news in India was PMO. An official said, “It is acchhe din in Mars and us. As Mars does not need water for itself we have launched a campaign to prod Mars to give up its water #Marsgiveitup. We will provide this water to gareeb ma to cook meals for her family.”
Health Minister JP Nadda added to the statement from PMO saying that since water is salty, it will be Iodine yukt and poor family now need not buy chutki bhar namak and instead use that money to buy tea from railway stations.
Congress dismissed the whole hoopla saying Youth Icon and Newtonist Shri Rahul ji Gandh ji had already gone beyond Mars and had talked about Jupiter during elections last year. This shows he is well ahead of anybody on this Earth.
The very fact that he was in the USA when this discovery was announced shows it was only under his able guidance that NASA was able to discover water. Saying this, Congress spokesperson left the media interaction. Though within minutes he came back running and hurriedly added, ‘and thus we demand resignation of Sushma Swaraj and Vasundhara Raje’.
Digvijay Singh the ‘RSS Hand Detector’ of Congress said NASA and MARS both has ‘S’ in its name, which is a clear indication that they are agents of RSS. Also he dutifully pointed out that Mars has reddish hue, which only proves the fact that Mars is communal and hence a threat to secularism.
Mayawati was visibly upset at the discovery. She rubbished all the talk as ‘conspiracy’ by manuwadi and drama. When asked why it was conspiracy, she said that NASA belongs to US and US is manuwadi leader. They purposely only discovered briny water and not fresh water. Everybody knows elephants cannot survive on salty water, they need fresh water. Thus this is a conspiracy by manuwadis to stop the march of elephant on Mars. When asked why she thought it was a drama. She shrugged and said this is what she says whenever she doesn’t understand stuff.
Listening to Mayawati, Azam Khan recalled his flock of bhains. He rued the fact that swamps attract bhains and so now UP Police he will have to search for his adventurous and eloping bhains on Mars too.
Mamata Banerjee was livid at the failure of the Union Government to have workable water sharing treaty with Mars. She flatly refused to accompany any Union Government delegation to Mars until water sharing treaty with Mars was approved by her.
Irrigation projects expert Sharad Pawar and Ajit Pawar have welcomed the news. They offered to share their expertise to help Mars with large scale irrigation projects that will result in no actual increase in irrigation there.
Meanwhile Boorkha Dutt announced with much glee that it is a blow to Modi. She said it was in fact Nawaz Sharif who was instrumental in detecting water on Mars. As a proof she showed a video clipping of ARY TV News bulletin clearly showing Nawaz Sharif on Mars discovering water. She also pointed out Nawaz Sharif helping a dehati aurat fetch water from a puddle on Mars.